Everyone’s had a ‘closet’ they’ve hidden in at some point. Some great secret truth about yourself that you’ve been so petrified to share that it starts eating you up alive. Whether it’s about your sexuality, your spirituality, your mental health, or whatever you feel a need to keep hidden form the world, everyone has done it from time to time and it gets us nowhere in our journey to find ourselves. The reality of it is, coming out of ANY closet is hard. No one’s coming out story is any harder than another persons. I recently watched a great TED talk by Ash Beckham about the ‘closets’ so many people live in. She mentions, “There is no harder, there is just hard.” Telling someone you’re gay isn’t any harder than telling your kids you’re getting a divorce or telling your spouse that you cheated on them. It’s just hard.
I like to think I’m a pretty open person. I’ve never had a hard time talking about personal things with people, it’s just never bothered me being different, in fact, it makes my life meaningful and exciting! But the more I think about it the more I realize that I have been hiding in a closet for so long. It’s not necessarily out of fear that I will be judged, but more out of exhaustion from trying to explain to people why I do the things I do.
Although most people know very well by now that I have Bipolar Disorder, I think far less people know the daily difficulty I have with Tourette’s Syndrome (TS) and Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and they are often much more challenging than bipolar these days. This week it’s been rather difficult and I definitely have people ask me from time to time what’s wrong when I’m making weird noises or moving strangely. Explaining this to people is difficult, party due to the widely known misconceptions and stereotypes about people with TS and OCD. I’ve always been very open about my bipolar, but coming out about TS and OCD are still sometimes difficult for me. Continue reading